To the young women in my life…
Turning thirty has me in a reflective mood. My twenties were full and busy. My life was a roller coaster through college,
marriage, children, chronic pain, adoption, moving, seminary, jobs, ministry. When looking back on it today, what stands
out to me is the remarkable and faithful young women with whom I shared my
twenties and the everlasting impact they made on my faith. And this verse came to mind:
“Let no one despise you for
your youth, but set the believers an
example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12
Young women have been some of my most powerful
teachers. They have been some of the most
striking examples of Gospel-centered living and servant-hearted sacrifice. They have been some of the most solemn
illustrations of living prostrate before the Lord in total trust and dependence.
You have done this despite being busy and tired and
overwhelmed and struggling and in pain.
But let me tell you: you are a breath of fresh air to my soul. You, in your youth, your tears, in your mess,
are life-giving to me. You have wisdom
from the Lord that defies your years and genuine faith that inspires me.
You, who suffered the unthinkable, and had two children die
by the time you were 33. You showed me
what it looks like to praise God even in mourning. When you got those phone calls and still cried
out to the Lord instead of cursing Him - I was there. I saw.
And I saw how big and mighty and loving our God is in your eyes. I saw Him uphold you. I saw you cling to Him rather than run
away. You showed me that in the darkest
night, He is still good and worthy of our devotion. You opened your mouth and the wisdom of the
Word came pouring out. Will you be wiser
in thirty years? Yes! But I needed to hear you right then. I needed the truth that was on your lips
as you cried; the words of a broken young woman worshiping her eternal
God.
You, who are suffering from disabling pain that began after
your first baby – you have shown me the source of true wisdom like no one else. God crushed your dream of being a career
missionary. He took from you the joyful
prospect of more children. He changed
your ability to serve your husband and your family and your church. He gave instead sleepless nights, financial
trouble, hard decisions, isolation, and pain.
But through the agony and despair, He taught your heart to say: “It is good for me that I was afflicted that
I might learn your statutes.” You grew
closer to Him as all else was taken away.
You say again and again: “This is God’s best for me. It can be nothing else.” And you mean it. “All this pain has been for my good and God’s
glory.” And my heart is changed. You are
young, but your faith is ancient and deep.
Your trust high and wide. I need
to know you, see you, hear you, young woman.
Because as He teaches you through your pain, He reveals His Grace to me.
You, whose husband left you with two toddlers and a baby on
the way. You are far too young for such
pain. Far too young to be able to tell
such a story. Twenty seven. But you show me what it means to have a
“gentle and quiet spirit” as you live in peace and trust and worship before
your God. The Gospel of Christ is real
to you- your everlasting hope - as you walk through the fall out of a broken marriage.
God is the Faithful One, though people
will fail. You learned this young and
hard. You count everything as loss
because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus your Lord. (Phil 3:8).
Will I trust Him too, your life asks me?
Will I really trust Him, if my world falls down?
You, who have faced miscarriage after miscarriage. You are young, but your eyes are often raw
with weeping, your body aches beyond its age, and your arms are empty, your
longing unfulfilled. Yet you still
believe God’s Word. It is precious, it is life to
you. His plan feels like pain, yet you
worship. Your grief is an ever present
void, but the Lord’s praises are on your lips, His songs in your heart, as you
listen for what He has to teach you. You
know His plans are greater than your own, and His ways are always wise. You know that He shed His Son’s own blood to
ransom your soul; your
deepest need is met; your
future in glory is secure. I need the teaching
that He has put in your heart. I need
your perspective on His love. Not later someday when you have processed this all; but now in the darkness where the light of fervent and unlikely faith shines so bright.
You, who serve patiently, selflessly every day. Your parenting journey so far has been short,
but its intensity is like that of a lifetime.
You said “yes” when the adoption agency showed you her picture and the
file that said, “fetal alcohol syndrome – failure to thrive.” You said “yes” to sacrificial Christlike love. Your faith belittles mine! Your hope puts me to shame! Your God is my God - but you know Him so much more! I need you, young woman, to teach my soul to
trust Him – truly, wholly, unreservedly.
To serve and love without holding back.
You, dear sweet friend, who in your early twenties faced
anxiety, insomnia, a broken engagement, and poor health. Your spirit resolved to trust the Lord though you saw no way out of your circumstances, and the future was a black hole. Your
mind was racing and fearful, but you fought fiercely for your faith, and it was
well with your soul. When I felt fear
and insecurity, your gentle words reminded me of God’s promises and reinforced
my heart. When insomnia ruled my nights
you offered me pearls of wisdom from your own trials. “When your body cannot rest, your mind can
still rest in Christ. Use the long empty
nights to praise Him in the quiet.” Many
sleepless nights have followed and I have never forgotten those words. Praise God.
Dear young women, sometimes you think you have nothing to
offer. You are too young. Too busy.
Too deeply “in the trenches” to have anything of worth to share. Until you are past it all, you’ll have little impact on other's lives.
You are so wrong.
Because by your faithful lives and words you have pointed me over and over – not to yourself – but to our
God.
You believe in the Gospel with fervency. You trust the Lord with a tenacity born out
of struggle and despair. You hold on to
the Savior as if your life depends on it – because you know that it does. We need to see your faith, hear of it, praise God for it, dear sisters - in your youth, in
your suffering, in your weakness, in the mess.
“Let no one despise you for your youth, but
set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in
purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12
You have done it well.
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